Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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