Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
