If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
