My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
