am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
