I think my vagina is haunted
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
