so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
