she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Your dad touched me again.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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