Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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