She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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