"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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