Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
