you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
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Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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