I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize