You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
