I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My vagina is officially offended.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize