the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
