Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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