The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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