Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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