Soap is not a condiment
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize