oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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