she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
