And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
