i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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