C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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