Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
