Your tits are I can't wait for
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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