the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
