Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We talked him into tasing himself.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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