So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
