real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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