I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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