I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
