I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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