Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize