Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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