dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
