Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
