She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize