I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
