like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Michael Bay diarrhea
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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