So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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