okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
