do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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