ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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