Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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