That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
