I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize