She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
