You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
