Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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