my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
