Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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