you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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