Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize