i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
