That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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