ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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