every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
