Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
