Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
