you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
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So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
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I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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