I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
